Sometimes we all have that deep, deep dark secret that we hope others will never find out about us.
For me it was the shame that my mother had a conviction for drug smuggling in a foreign country in 2000, it’s something that lives with me everyday of my life, but it’s no longer a secret and it’s been out there for quite some time now.
It didn’t break my family back then just as it hasn’t broken us now. We all have secrets which we think are the worse things about us or our families and which we hope others will never find out about us.
Secrets. Sometimes they are exciting and sometimes they are scary. But at the end of the day it’s just another facet of us that people don’t yet know about us, or its one that they do think they know about us but chose to assume they know everything about it and us.
Parental Alienation is a secret. You are never told about it, it’s not taught in schools or college’s or university, and if and when it is part of a university course it’s a page or two that is quickly skimmed over, you think you’ve been taught about it and you assume you know about it but the reality is much, much different.
Parental Alienation is a secret when you get married and have children. The Church doesn’t ask you during your vows to say “promise that you will never alienate any future children you may have from the other parent”, they don’t talk about it at parenting classes or ante natal classes, no one tells you that in your future there is a possibility that it could happen to you.
Parental Alienation is a secret because those parents who commit it don’t want to admit to it, and sometimes those parents in the throes of it don’t want to admit it’s happening to them because people will assume and judge.
Secrets. We all have them. It just depends on what they are, who is involved, and how it’s done. But the one thing about secrets is that they always, always get found out. By chance, by luck, by stupidity and by pride, which always, always comes before that fall.
Alienators always have secrets. They lead a secret live with those who facilitate their secret. They don’t tell others because they don’t need to be told the truth, they tell others their version of the truth. They tell the children they are alienating a different kind of “truth” yet again, till it gets to the point where no one except the alienators actually know what the “real truth” is and even then it’s still a distorted version of their own truth.
In heated moments we all blurt out little excerpts of truths, and when I’m up late at night going through the stuff in my head trying to make sense of it all and reading things that were posted from way back in the beginning I find there is a conversation on this page from a while ago, that had the authorities bothered to actually read it might have been asking a few more important questions. But they haven’t so far and it’s doubtful now that even if they did it might be no longer relevant. Or would it?
You see after re reading this conversation and putting two and two together I think I may have stumbled onto someone else’s secret. And my issue now is what to do about it.
I was once told there are three things you cannot hide, the Sun, the Moon and the truth. Secrets they sit deep within us, dark and weighing heavy like stones.