Tag Archives: sad

Happy 12th Birthday Josh

Dear Josh,

Once again we are missing another birthday in what really is a very short childhood.

You’re turning into a young man and we’ve missed, no we have been denied, so many milestones, birthdays and turning points in your young life.

So here are some of the parts in our lives you are missing out on….

Yesterday Lily danced her socks off in a school dancing competition you would have been so proud of your little sister, she loves dancing and singing and I wouldn’t be surprised to see her in the entertainment business when she’s older.

Caitlin is studying for seven prelims in January, she is excelling in Math and languages and is making us all very, very proud of how much she is achieving.

Sienna has just completed her first nursery term and her teachers think she’s adorable, as do we all.

We have a new dog, and she’s very very cute.

You’re mum is finally learning to drive….so she’ll soon be much more mobile. You’re mummy, David and sisters are all booked up for a lovely two week holiday to your favourite destination next year…maybe by that time things will have moved on.

We all miss you both very, very much Josh and soon it’ll be Christmas again…you are now deemed old enough to make you’re own decisions and choices in your life.

We can only hope and pray that you choose the right paths, you could choose to visit us or call us, you could choose to contact your sisters or your mum, all you need to do is private message this page and it can be arranged.

We would ALL be so happy to either hear from you or see you (not forgetting wee arty farty pants Archie)

We know that you might find this hard to do because you’ve been told so many times that we all abandoned you both, that we no longer loved or cared about you both or that we never wanted to see you again.

But all of that is simply untrue. And if you ever give us the chance to show you EVERYTHING we have ever tried to do to speak, see or hear from you both, you might be surprised to learn you’ve been lied to and kept in the dark about many, many things.

If you feel that you owe you’re dad and his girlfriend some sort of loyalty you may change your mind when you learn the truth.

Trying to get through yet another birthday without having you in our lives in very hard, especially so for your mum and sisters, it makes us all sad, so we could do without the cruel posts from those people in your lives which are designed to deliver the worst and cruelest form of hurt another human being can inflict on another.

So to let the world know that we haven’t given up the fight to see you both and that we are not afraid of those flying monkeys who seem to think they rule the world, we decided to call The Maltings and ask them to give you our message, I hope they did, I think they must have because not long after the posts disappeared, but not before they had been screen printed.

If you ever get the chance to read this you’ll see and understand just how cruel those posts were.

Every day is hard, we stumble through hoping for a ray of hope, we hope that it is coming, it’s all bundled up in red tape, maybe one day that red tape will become a big red bow who knows.

We haven’t given up, we are still fighting, neither of you are forgotten, we will be there to the bitter or happy end, the door will always be open to you both, always, all either of you have to do is take a step forward….

So here for you Josh, on your 12th Birthday is a small list of legal things you can now achieve without your father’s permission.

Things you can do at the age of 12 in Scotland….


Continue reading Happy 12th Birthday Josh

What’s Love Got to Do with It…..

13177177_1576505552641932_2457046837278823513_nI was recently invited to ‘like’ another Facebook Community page dealing with Parental Alienation, but before I could hit that little ‘like’ radio button I had to give the whole why thing some thought, and these were the conclusions that I came to and wrote to the page owner on.

I find it quite horrifying, yet at the same time inspiring, that the number of community pages and groups, private or public, dealing with the insidious evil that is Parental Alienation seems to be exploding on the great big wide world of the Internet and social media. Continue reading What’s Love Got to Do with It…..

When do I let go?

186I’ve been awake since  two thirty am thinking about my grandson’s #JoshandArchieMcKay after having a long conversation with my daughter about them earlier in the day. Sleep is always hard to find for me when my daughter is so distressed by how much she misses her two boys.

My oldest grandson Josh will be 11 years old tomorrow, it is another year where we will not help him celebrate this birthday because we have been denied access to him for so long now that he has been so brainwashed into thinking his mum and the rest of us are such bad people.
Continue reading When do I let go?

I Tried My Best…….

FB_IMG_1442418272736I never really thought much about Parental Alienation until it happened to my family, it isn’t one of ‘those things’ that you hear much about on the news or in the main stream media, but in the UK it does happen and it is happening more than people know.

But what is Parental Alienation? Well in short it is a term which is used to describe the behaviours used by a parent which is often mirrored by other family members, it is used to manipulate children’s minds with the end motive being to sever all ties and links with the child’s other parent and their extended family. Continue reading I Tried My Best…….

Sisters and their Brothers

My beautiful grandchildrenDear #JoshandArchieMcKay

Well it was Caitlin’s birthday today and as much as she enjoyed it all she said quite a few times how much she missed you both, it made it all very sad, no 14 year old girl should be saying things like that about missing her brothers. Continue reading Sisters and their Brothers

Updates on Social Media Abuse

FB_IMG_1442527212379I have now had three separate solicitors letters (all from different solicitors firms) telling me that they would like me to remove the webpages, certain posts and some of my tweets, which they claim are offensive and embarrassing for my grandsons #JoshandArchieMcKay

My response to those letters are NO simple as that. The posts are my right to Freedom of Expression and Speech. These posts are also the only way we can evidence our hellish journey to fight to see them both, they also document the abuse we have had to take and the absolute mess the local authority have made of protecting ALL of my grandchildren.

The posts will not be removed and will be there for as long as my daughters and her children remain apart.

I suggest to all three solicitors firms that instead of them being embarrassing to my grandsons they are in actual fact embarrassing for your clients, not all solicitors require them to be removed, in as much as you want them removed others wish them to remain.

This is MY website, bought, paid for and updated by me, the associated Community Facebook page and Twitter account are also public pages and will remain.

Here is an update to these social media posts.

And YES I was given permission to post the ‘divorce papers’ since the address isn’t valid it isn’t an issue! Continue reading Updates on Social Media Abuse

The Lengths Parental Alienators Will Go To…….

FB_IMG_1438041090334 - CopyDear #JoshandArchieMcKay

So here we are again…..

It’s now August 2015 and we are about to enter year 4 of our personal hell that is Parental Alienation of our grandchildren #JoshandArchieMcKay.

We have had absolutely no contact with these two boys for what seems to be an eternity of pain and misery, and whilst we can deal with it on a daily basis their mother and their three sisters find it very hard and miss #JoshandArchieMcKay more than the words I write can convey.

We all know now that Parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse in which a normal positive parent/child relationship is damaged or destroyed by another party using emotional manipulation, threats, false accusations, and any other means possible.

Continue reading The Lengths Parental Alienators Will Go To…….

A Poem For My Sons Josh and Archie McKay


josh n mummy

archie and mummy

For Josh and Archie McKay

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not here, I’m all alone

I miss your smiles, your cheeky grins

Those little dimples on your chin


Ten tiny toes and fingertips

I felt your love at your first grip.

I held you tight within my chest

The closest love, the very best


I gave you life, you gave me love

And now you’re gone, there’s not enough….

Of smiles and laughter, tears and joy

You were my ones, my little boys


I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not here, I’m all alone

My sadness darkens the lightest mood

Because you’re missing, from my brood


I cannot grieve, you are not gone

My life feels empty, and so forlorn

I miss you more with each passing day

And yet ….you are not far away


I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not part, of my happy home

Your sisters miss you, granny too

They send their love and hugs to you


I cannot grieve, you are not gone

My little boys I miss you so

I want to see you both again, walk through my door

With happy smiles and tears of joy


With lots of love from mummy, I miss you both so much.


©Jillian McKay 21st May 2015

Eight Tacticts Narcissistic Adult Children Commit Against Grandparents


1. Rage – This is an intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing (remember the wire hanger scene from the movie “Mommie Dearest”). It startles and shocks the parent of the adult child into compliance or silence. Attacking actions and bullying behaviours are frequent.

2. Gaslighting – Narcissistic mental abusers lie about the past, making their aging parent doubt their memory,perception, and sanity. They claim and give evidence of their “past wrong behaviour”further causing doubt. The parent might even begin to question what they said a minute ago.

3. The Stare – This is an intense stare with no feeling behind it.  It is designed to scare a victimised parent into submission, and is frequently mixed with the silent treatment.

4. Silent Treatment – Narcissist Adult Children punish by ignoring. Then they let their victimised parent “off the hook” by demanding an apology even though the parent isn’t to blame. This is to modify the victimised parent’s behaviour.   It is nothing short of mind control indoctrination.  Narcissist adult children also have a history of cutting their parents and other family members out of their lives and the lives of beloved grandchildren permanently over small, inconsequential or made-up things.

5. Projection – They dump their issues onto their victimised parent as if the parent(s) were the one doing it. For instance, narcissistic mentally abusive adult children may accuse their parent of lying when they (the narcissist) have lied. Or they make the parent feel guilty when the narcissist is really guilty. This creates confusion, doubt and uncertainty in the mind of the aging parent.

6. Twisting – When narcissist adult children are confronted, they will twist everything around to blame their victimised parent for their actions. They will not accept responsibility for their behaviour and insist that their parent apologise to them.

7. Manipulation – A  tactic is for the narcissist adult child to make their parent fear the worst, such as abandonment, estrangement, rejection and withholding of grandchildren. Then they refute it and ask the parent for something they normally would reply with “No.” This is a control tactic to get the parent to agree to do something they normally wouldn’t.

8. Victim Card – When all else fails, the narcissist adult child will resort to playing the victim card. This is to  gain sympathy and further control the victimised parent.

Grandparent Alienation is Pathological Child Abuse

By Glenn Ross Caddy Ph.D., A.B.P.P., F.A.P.A.




“There is no question but that unless there is legitimate (and verifiable) reason to prevent the grandparents and children from enjoying a complete family life together [such justification may be the true psychological pathology or physical abuse of the children by the grandparent[s], that the alienation of children from their loving grandparents by one or both parents is pathological and constitutes child abuse. This is simply because grandparents play an important role for the children in defining the depth and family and the support system of love inherent in the family just as uncles and aunts and cousins contribute to the breadth of the family surrounding the support, love, and well-being of the children. These people are far more than friends, they are blood and they are love.

Tragically, it is common with alienation that when one set of grandparents or both sets are the victims of alienation the entire family on at least one side is estranged and splintered. The children who suffer this alienation have no context of cohesiveness or normalcy in of extended family life. They do not learn or know normalcy and they suffer profound emotional consequences therefrom. I have treated people in their 30’s and 40’s who came to realize in the context of the therapy that they were the victims of parental [and grandparent] alienation and their suffering has ranged between confusion and unimaginable psychic pain and psychopathology.”