Tag Archives: loss

What’s Love Got to Do with It…..

13177177_1576505552641932_2457046837278823513_nI was recently invited to ‘like’ another Facebook Community page dealing with Parental Alienation, but before I could hit that little ‘like’ radio button I had to give the whole why thing some thought, and these were the conclusions that I came to and wrote to the page owner on.

I find it quite horrifying, yet at the same time inspiring, that the number of community pages and groups, private or public, dealing with the insidious evil that is Parental Alienation seems to be exploding on the great big wide world of the Internet and social media. Continue reading What’s Love Got to Do with It…..

When Your Best is Not Enough

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There are times, sadly, when your very best just never seems to be good enough. It’s not because you lack the ability to do your best, but because the system does not want you to succeed at doing your best.

For those of you who follow and like this page I want to update you all on what has been going on, or not, and how this has affected my daughter, her daughters and our family in general. Continue reading When Your Best is Not Enough

Don’t be a Flying Monkey in 2016

flying monkThere are those of you out there who may be new to the game of Parental Alienation and who may not yet have heard of the term ‘flying monkey’, these are people that a narcissist uses to do their bidding.

There are times such as in our case when the lead narcissist will not personally attack you publicly in any way because to do so would make them look bad, but what they will do is privately tell those carefully chosen people how evil and awful you are, how you walked away and deserted your children, how you had numerous affairs, how you were a bad mother or father, it does not matter, they’ll use any and all ways and means of making you look like you are the bad one here, so long as it makes them look good.

Continue reading Don’t be a Flying Monkey in 2016

When do I let go?

186I’ve been awake since  two thirty am thinking about my grandson’s #JoshandArchieMcKay after having a long conversation with my daughter about them earlier in the day. Sleep is always hard to find for me when my daughter is so distressed by how much she misses her two boys.

My oldest grandson Josh will be 11 years old tomorrow, it is another year where we will not help him celebrate this birthday because we have been denied access to him for so long now that he has been so brainwashed into thinking his mum and the rest of us are such bad people.
Continue reading When do I let go?

Is Your Child Being Alienated a Checklist for Alienated Parents

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Gardner’s 8 symptoms of Parental Alienation

Richard A. Gardner M.D. Clinical Professor of Child Psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeon says that these are the 8 symptoms of Parental Alienation Continue reading Is Your Child Being Alienated a Checklist for Alienated Parents

For Josh and Archie McKay Part 2

Screenshot_2015-07-07-14-21-55Dear Josh and Archie,

Below you will find the comments left on this page by Mairi Scally which I have now made public for all to see.

Mairi
1 approved
mairiscally@googlemail.com

as myself and my family have been blocked from every website this woman has made means we can’t defend ourselves.
My daughter started going out with this woman’s ex son in law 3 yrs ago, he had 4 kids living with him at the time 2 of which have been proved through DNA not to be his. They had nothing but rags to wear and bits and pieces of broken toys to play with, the turn around since then is huge. 2 well kitted out and decorated bedrooms and 100% attendance at school and nursery oh yes and manners. She merly picked up the pieces of a very broken home. Their “mother” did not turn up to any contact set up for her letting them down again and again apart from once when she posted photos of the youngest all over the Internet from the contact centre(her eldest boy refused point blank not to go) his own choice! Now her mother continues to slander my daughter all over the Internet to people that are only getting half a story. Setting up a fund for court when she can afford to go abroad twice a year I find disgraceful. Every mother should have the right to see their children but there are totally different ways to go about getting that result instead of slandering a 24 year old girl that has only improved things for 2 little boys whom were abandoned with nothing just so their mother could swan off for 4/5 days at a time and has to be tracked down and found covered in love bites (her own mother tried to have her sectioned) also if she had turned up to the contact visits, all this would be water under a very rusty rickety bridge. Please, unless you have the other side of a story especially this one. DO NOT TRUST OR BELIEVE THIS VILE WOMAN.

Mairi
1 approved
mairiscally@goiglemail.com

As my last comment was conveniently deleted here is another.
My family and I do not get a chance to defend ourselves against the lies and slander linda Miller puts all over the Internet about us. Her daughter abandoned her poor children and left them with nothing. She was more than happy to leave them in that position until her ex started going with someone else. That’s when the following and slander started. This women could not handle the fact that my daughter picked up the pieces of her very broken home. 4 kids abandoned with her ex 2 of which are not his biologically proven through DNA. These 2 little boys were left very confused. The turn around since then is massive, 2 beautifully kitted out bedrooms with everything little boys should have brilliant manners 100% attendance in school and nursery not to mention they are loved again. She will have you believe all sorts of lies about abuse etc, anything to cover up the shame of what she “dragged” up, a women who has 5 kids and only has 2 as her eldest daughter lives with her granny, the liar I am talking about. She did not turn up at the visits at the contact centre set up for her, apart from one, were she took photos of her 3 year old and posted them online, dangerous! Her eldest boy refused point blank to go to this contact visit, a decision he made himself. She has set up a website for people to “donate” money, but can go on holiday abroad twice a year, shameful. Please, think about what this vile excuse for a granny writes and ponder the fact she has blocked all of us so you won’t read the TRUTH. No one is hiding these 2 little boys, they most certainly are not missing. They are at home very much settled at the fact their “step mum” will be there when they get up and come home from school. No more confusion for these 2 innocents thanks to Allana Bruce and their daddy JayMcKay.

 

A Poem For My Sons Josh and Archie McKay

 

josh n mummy

archie and mummy

For Josh and Archie McKay

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not here, I’m all alone

I miss your smiles, your cheeky grins

Those little dimples on your chin

 

Ten tiny toes and fingertips

I felt your love at your first grip.

I held you tight within my chest

The closest love, the very best

 

I gave you life, you gave me love

And now you’re gone, there’s not enough….

Of smiles and laughter, tears and joy

You were my ones, my little boys

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not here, I’m all alone

My sadness darkens the lightest mood

Because you’re missing, from my brood

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

My life feels empty, and so forlorn

I miss you more with each passing day

And yet ….you are not far away

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not part, of my happy home

Your sisters miss you, granny too

They send their love and hugs to you

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

My little boys I miss you so

I want to see you both again, walk through my door

With happy smiles and tears of joy

 

With lots of love from mummy, I miss you both so much.

 

©Jillian McKay 21st May 2015

Special Days for Mums Alienated from their Children

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Mothers Day, Birthdays, and other holidays usually means for many people the receiving of flowers, gifts and handmade cards and breakfast of burnt toast and cold tea served up with lots of  hugs and laughter. It means celebration and gratitude and rejoicing for doing the job of being ‘mum’ 24/7 365 days per year, come rain or shine, but if like my daughter and you are alienated from your children by their father and his family and new partner, then your Mothers Day was a bittersweet experience and for some this just meant a day filled with misery and tears, grieving for the loss of a child that was still alive somewhere on this planet. Continue reading Special Days for Mums Alienated from their Children

Eight Tacticts Narcissistic Adult Children Commit Against Grandparents

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1. Rage – This is an intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing (remember the wire hanger scene from the movie “Mommie Dearest”). It startles and shocks the parent of the adult child into compliance or silence. Attacking actions and bullying behaviours are frequent.

2. Gaslighting – Narcissistic mental abusers lie about the past, making their aging parent doubt their memory,perception, and sanity. They claim and give evidence of their “past wrong behaviour”further causing doubt. The parent might even begin to question what they said a minute ago.

3. The Stare – This is an intense stare with no feeling behind it.  It is designed to scare a victimised parent into submission, and is frequently mixed with the silent treatment.

4. Silent Treatment – Narcissist Adult Children punish by ignoring. Then they let their victimised parent “off the hook” by demanding an apology even though the parent isn’t to blame. This is to modify the victimised parent’s behaviour.   It is nothing short of mind control indoctrination.  Narcissist adult children also have a history of cutting their parents and other family members out of their lives and the lives of beloved grandchildren permanently over small, inconsequential or made-up things.

5. Projection – They dump their issues onto their victimised parent as if the parent(s) were the one doing it. For instance, narcissistic mentally abusive adult children may accuse their parent of lying when they (the narcissist) have lied. Or they make the parent feel guilty when the narcissist is really guilty. This creates confusion, doubt and uncertainty in the mind of the aging parent.

6. Twisting – When narcissist adult children are confronted, they will twist everything around to blame their victimised parent for their actions. They will not accept responsibility for their behaviour and insist that their parent apologise to them.

7. Manipulation – A  tactic is for the narcissist adult child to make their parent fear the worst, such as abandonment, estrangement, rejection and withholding of grandchildren. Then they refute it and ask the parent for something they normally would reply with “No.” This is a control tactic to get the parent to agree to do something they normally wouldn’t.


8. Victim Card – When all else fails, the narcissist adult child will resort to playing the victim card. This is to  gain sympathy and further control the victimised parent.

For my Alienated Sons Josh and Archie McKay

 

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For Josh and Archie McKay

 

 

 

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not here, I’m all alone

I miss your smiles, your cheeky grins

Those little dimples on your chin

 

Ten tiny toes and fingertips

I felt your love at your first grip.

I held you tight within my chest

The closest love, the very best

 

I gave you life, you gave me love

And now you’re gone, there’s not enough….

Of smiles and laughter, tears and joy

You were my ones, my little boys.

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not here, I’m all alone

My sadness darkens the lightest mood

Because you’re missing, from my brood

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

My life feels empty, and so forlorn

I miss you more with each passing day

And yet ….you are not far away

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

You are not part, of my happy home

Your sisters miss you, granny too

They send their love and hugs to you

 

I cannot grieve, you are not gone

My little boys I miss you so

I want to see you both again, walk through my door

With happy smiles and tears of joy

I hope it’s soon, my lovely boys.

 

©Jillian McKay 21st May 2015