Tag Archives: alienation

Change….or Not……

 

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Change…..or Not…..

It is always heartbreaking for me to read private messages from parents who have been put through an absolute nightmare by their exes, their exes families and friends, and in particular those in local authority and in Police forces who could have done so much more to help alleviate their issues. Continue reading Change….or Not……

Truth

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Sometimes we all have that deep, deep dark secret that we hope others will never find out about us.

For me it was the shame that my mother had a conviction for drug smuggling in a foreign country in 2000, it’s something that lives with me everyday of my life, but it’s no longer a secret and it’s been out there for quite some time now.

It didn’t break my family back then just as it hasn’t broken us now. We all have secrets which we think are the worse things about us or our families and which we hope others will never find out about us.

Secrets. Sometimes they are exciting and sometimes they are scary. But at the end of the day it’s just another facet of us that people don’t yet know about us, or its one that they do think they know about us but chose to assume they know everything about it and us.

Parental Alienation is a secret. You are never told about it, it’s not taught in schools or college’s or university, and if and when it is part of a university course it’s a page or two that is quickly skimmed over, you think you’ve been taught about it and you assume you know about it but the reality is much, much different.

Parental Alienation is a secret when you get married and have children. The Church doesn’t ask you during your vows to say “promise that you will never alienate any future children you may have from the other parent”, they don’t talk about it at parenting classes or ante natal classes, no one tells you that in your future there is a possibility that it could happen to you.

Parental Alienation is a secret because those parents who commit it don’t want to admit to it, and sometimes those parents in the throes of it don’t want to admit it’s happening to them because people will assume and judge.

Secrets. We all have them. It just depends on what they are, who is involved, and how it’s done. But the one thing about secrets is that they always, always get found out. By chance, by luck, by stupidity and by pride, which always, always comes before that fall.

Alienators always have secrets. They lead a secret live with those who facilitate their secret. They don’t tell others because they don’t need to be told the truth, they tell others their version of the truth. They tell the children they are alienating a different kind of “truth” yet again, till it gets to the point where no one except the alienators actually know what the “real truth” is and even then it’s still a distorted version of their own truth.

In heated moments we all blurt out little excerpts of truths, and when I’m up late at night going through the stuff in my head trying to make sense of it all and reading things that were posted from way back in the beginning I find there is a conversation on this page from a while ago, that had the authorities bothered to actually read it might have been asking a few more important questions. But they haven’t so far and it’s doubtful now that even if they did it might be no longer relevant. Or would it?

You see after re reading this conversation and putting two and two together I think I may have stumbled onto someone else’s secret. And my issue now is what to do about it.

I was once told there are three things you cannot hide, the Sun, the Moon and the truth. Secrets they sit deep within us, dark and weighing heavy like stones.

Continue reading Truth

2016 A New Year

FB_IMG_1442424002524For the past four years now my daughter has thought that not seeing her two sons has been her fault, she now finally understands that it was not her fault, and with all that we have learned together as a family who have been totally cut off and denied any access with or to #JoshandArchieMcKay it is hardly surprising that it has taken her this long to finally understand the horrors that Parental Alienators commit, having to learn what Parental Alienators do is no mean feat. Continue reading 2016 A New Year

I Tried My Best…….

FB_IMG_1442418272736I never really thought much about Parental Alienation until it happened to my family, it isn’t one of ‘those things’ that you hear much about on the news or in the main stream media, but in the UK it does happen and it is happening more than people know.

But what is Parental Alienation? Well in short it is a term which is used to describe the behaviours used by a parent which is often mirrored by other family members, it is used to manipulate children’s minds with the end motive being to sever all ties and links with the child’s other parent and their extended family. Continue reading I Tried My Best…….

Sisters and their Brothers

My beautiful grandchildrenDear #JoshandArchieMcKay

Well it was Caitlin’s birthday today and as much as she enjoyed it all she said quite a few times how much she missed you both, it made it all very sad, no 14 year old girl should be saying things like that about missing her brothers. Continue reading Sisters and their Brothers

Missing Children

Josn and mummyDear ‪#‎JoshandArchieMcKay

Well its back to Inchview Primary school for you both tomorrow which means it will almost be time again for parent’s night.

It is also your sisters birthday on Tuesday and she says the best gift she could get would be to see you both without all the hassle of trying to do it through her solicitors at Thornton’s in Perth, but she’s resigned herself to once again being disappointed because she knows it’s 99.99% most likely not to happen. Continue reading Missing Children

You May See Me Struggle……..

I have known a few people in my lifetime who were then or are now extremely frustrating to deal with, but none such as our own personal parental alienators.

Not only are they frustrating in each and every way, they are also very, very toxic, to the point that a skull and crossbones should be assigned to their every well thought out, planned and devious move. A few of these people absolutely show signs of having some sort of personality disorder, as in they don’t actually have any personality worth knowing. Continue reading You May See Me Struggle……..

Updates on Social Media Abuse

FB_IMG_1442527212379I have now had three separate solicitors letters (all from different solicitors firms) telling me that they would like me to remove the webpages, certain posts and some of my tweets, which they claim are offensive and embarrassing for my grandsons #JoshandArchieMcKay

My response to those letters are NO simple as that. The posts are my right to Freedom of Expression and Speech. These posts are also the only way we can evidence our hellish journey to fight to see them both, they also document the abuse we have had to take and the absolute mess the local authority have made of protecting ALL of my grandchildren.

The posts will not be removed and will be there for as long as my daughters and her children remain apart.

I suggest to all three solicitors firms that instead of them being embarrassing to my grandsons they are in actual fact embarrassing for your clients, not all solicitors require them to be removed, in as much as you want them removed others wish them to remain.

This is MY website, bought, paid for and updated by me, the associated Community Facebook page and Twitter account are also public pages and will remain.

Here is an update to these social media posts.

And YES I was given permission to post the ‘divorce papers’ since the address isn’t valid it isn’t an issue! Continue reading Updates on Social Media Abuse

The Pro’s and Con’s of Shared Parenting

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As an alienated grandmother whose daughter is being actively alienated from her two sons #JoshandArchieMcKay by her ex-husband and his new partner, and her family too (let’s all get in on the act here) I decided to take a look at the bigger picture and try to find a way forward as a means to attempting a more positive compromise, and in the hope that my daughters ex-husband may actually read this and consider the options, although I am doubtful, and if anything its more likely it’ll be his lawyer reading this and then writing to me again!

I have tried to sit down and work out the pros and cons of ‘Shared Parenting’ and exactly what this means not only for the children but also for the parents and other extended family members.

So as a ‘lay person’ with no other formal qualifications on this matter other than my experience of being in the position of seeing actual Parental Alienation at work, how it affects not only the absent parent, but also siblings and extended family here are my own personal thoughts on the matter. Continue reading The Pro’s and Con’s of Shared Parenting

Especially for Josh and Archie McKay

josh n mummyDear Josh and Archie,

I realise that what you are both about to learn and see in these posts is not something that is very pleasant, but, it is something that you both need to know about.

You’re mummy never gave up looking for you, she was always denied your address, when you were registered at your new school, your mummy was not even listed as being your next of kin, she was just ‘left off’ by your dad and allana.

She and your sisters and us, have missed Christmases, birthdays and all sorts of other things like holidays abroad, and just seeing you for even a little while, but that’s not because we haven’t tried, it’s because we were told we were never being allowed to see you both again, even Caitlin has a solicitor who is getting the runaround.

I am going to try to keep this nice and simple for you to understand and I shall be posting pictures of things that have been written about your mummy and me too which are not very nice to read, they have been written by your dad, your granny Liz, Allana, Allana’s mum Mairi Scally and Allana’s aunty Caroline Colville, and a few of their friends.

If you click on each picture it will show you exactly what is being said about your mum.

All we want you to know is that YOU WERE NEVER ABANDONED, YOU WERE NEVER FORGOTTEN, WE and especially your mummy NEVER STOPPED TRYING TO SEE YOU BOTH and you are BOTH STILL VERY MUCH LOVED AND MISSED.

Continue reading Especially for Josh and Archie McKay