1. Rage – This is an intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing (remember the wire hanger scene from the movie “Mommie Dearest”). It startles and shocks the parent of the adult child into compliance or silence. Attacking actions and bullying behaviours are frequent.
2. Gaslighting – Narcissistic mental abusers lie about the past, making their aging parent doubt their memory,perception, and sanity. They claim and give evidence of their “past wrong behaviour”further causing doubt. The parent might even begin to question what they said a minute ago.
3. The Stare – This is an intense stare with no feeling behind it. It is designed to scare a victimised parent into submission, and is frequently mixed with the silent treatment.
4. Silent Treatment – Narcissist Adult Children punish by ignoring. Then they let their victimised parent “off the hook” by demanding an apology even though the parent isn’t to blame. This is to modify the victimised parent’s behaviour. It is nothing short of mind control indoctrination. Narcissist adult children also have a history of cutting their parents and other family members out of their lives and the lives of beloved grandchildren permanently over small, inconsequential or made-up things.
5. Projection – They dump their issues onto their victimised parent as if the parent(s) were the one doing it. For instance, narcissistic mentally abusive adult children may accuse their parent of lying when they (the narcissist) have lied. Or they make the parent feel guilty when the narcissist is really guilty. This creates confusion, doubt and uncertainty in the mind of the aging parent.
6. Twisting – When narcissist adult children are confronted, they will twist everything around to blame their victimised parent for their actions. They will not accept responsibility for their behaviour and insist that their parent apologise to them.
7. Manipulation – A tactic is for the narcissist adult child to make their parent fear the worst, such as abandonment, estrangement, rejection and withholding of grandchildren. Then they refute it and ask the parent for something they normally would reply with “No.” This is a control tactic to get the parent to agree to do something they normally wouldn’t.
8. Victim Card – When all else fails, the narcissist adult child will resort to playing the victim card. This is to gain sympathy and further control the victimised parent.