There are those of you out there who may be new to the game of Parental Alienation and who may not yet have heard of the term ‘flying monkey’, these are people that a narcissist uses to do their bidding.
There are times such as in our case when the lead narcissist will not personally attack you publicly in any way because to do so would make them look bad, but what they will do is privately tell those carefully chosen people how evil and awful you are, how you walked away and deserted your children, how you had numerous affairs, how you were a bad mother or father, it does not matter, they’ll use any and all ways and means of making you look like you are the bad one here, so long as it makes them look good.
These narcissists will choose people the same way they chose you. They are experts at reading people and realising who will make an easy target and a puppet, who are stupid enough to believe all they tell them because let’s face it, it must be the truth, right?
They need people that they can control and who will fire all the shots off, but, they will also usually avoid telling those people that they know won’t believe their lies and stories for fear of being found out as the liars they really are, narcissists usually choose other, lesser narcissists who will enjoy attacking you, or they choose very empathetic people who believe their stories and honestly believe they are supporting an innocent person.
These flying monkeys will then proceed to stalk you via social media, through other friends and through any other means available to them, only to then go back to the parental alienator and report their findings and brag about how well they managed to upset you that day.
However, there are worse flying monkeys out there who will actively spread stories that they know to be lies, and make them as public as possible, the truth does not matter to such flying monkeys, these particular flying monkeys are often as bad as the narcissist.
Since such lies are not being spread directly by the narcissist, they will quite often claim they are ‘are in the right’ but the words and the lies that these flying monkeys use and spread are exactly what they heard from the narcissist. They happily do the narcissist’s dirty work for them, but make it seem like the narcissist isn’t really involved, and especially more so if they are in any way involved with the narcissist.
They are either too dumb, are just simply vile people or do not care to notice that they are being used by the narcissist.
The term ‘flying monkeys’ was derived from the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz since the wicked witch sends them to carry out her attacks.
Most of the time where Parental Alienation is taking place, the narcissist has convinced their own personal flying monkeys that the narcissist is the real and only victim and the targeted parent is actually the villain, so the monkeys go after the real victim and treat the real victim like the abuser, even when they know that the real victim in this is the person who is being alienated from their children, they really do not care.
In my daughter’s case the narcopath’s/sociopaths personal flying monkeys have included an extremely busy group of their family members who actively seek to alienate her from her children whilst committing as much as they can get away with, they are extremely stupid and uneducated people who think that the world owes them something and who will denigrate anyone who even remotely disagrees with them, thus creating their own ‘flying monkeys’ who agree and hang onto every word and lie that spews out of their mouths.
I’m glad to say that not all of the people they and the narcissist tell their tales to believe it all, some of these other people are horrified by the lies they hear and will as a matter of course come to me via this page or Social Media and let me or my daughter know what is being said, it is also how we managed to discover the school my daughters sons attend.
And let me tell you we have heard some stories about ourselves, but my grandmother always told me that ‘if they were talking about me, then they were leaving some other poor bugger alone’, and besides it is nice to know that such flying monkeys are so interested in what is going on in these pages, even when they create fake profiles to look at our social media pages, or get their own flying monkeys to spy, I always find it hilarious because as we all know social media pages that are community pages or public figures always track those who visit.
These flying monkeys believe in their cause and are extremely devoted to tearing down their target. They are often willing to viciously abuse and stalk someone they have NEVER met because another person they think know has told them a few stories.
There are a few flying monkeys out there who are more passive. They believe what they are told and secretly think the target is a horrible person. They might avoid or shun the target, but they don’t aggressively bully them.
The other woman in this story who is now my grandsons step mother has very poor social skills and boundaries and is nasty to everyone who disagrees with her because she is obviously so insecure with herself, and as you will see in the Social Media section on this site she asks my daughter if it is okay to ‘go out’ with her then husband later telling my daughter she is a better person than she is….
Not only that but she insists on totally writing my daughter off as a crap mother at every chance she gets, stupidly not realising that one day my grandsons and a family court will read her ‘reviews’ on my daughters skills as a mother.
She and her family constantly tries to build themselves up by beating others down.
These attacks that my daughter and I are subjected to are all only created to defend his and her ‘innocence’ in all of this sordid saga. There are other flying monkeys out there happy to participate in this abusive behaviour, but anyone who is paying attention can easily tell why these people are being chosen.
The gossip has spread this story with great determination. This particular flying monkeys family is infamous for not minding its own business and of course social media is now a perfect tool for spreading lies!
But then it’s not unusual for Parental Alienators to tell their invented sob stories to others to get support.
So here are a few pointers for anyone who may think they are being used as a ‘flying monkey’ by a Parental Alienator.
- Have you found yourself to be extremely angry on behalf of someone else who has told you a wonderful story about how they have had to become their children’s main care giver after the children were deserted by their mother/father, but you choose to believe the story even without proof?
- You find yourself overly invested in this person’s problems, and their enemies become your enemies, again, without real proof.
- You find yourself using the same words and terms the alleged victim has said to you almost verbatim without actually stopping to ask yourself if any of what you are being told makes sense and you get so caught up in histrionics of the story and how awful it all is for that ‘poor family’ to have to go through it all it makes your heart bleed and in return you don’t question any of it.
So how on earth do you stop yourself from becoming a flying monkey?
It’s the normal thing for human beings to listen to a story of woe and become angry and upset for that person who is allegedly doing the suffering, but that is exactly what a narcissist Parental Alienator is counting on.
Parental Alienators want to take advantage of your feelings and your empathy so they can use you as a tool to destroy the real victim in all of this. At one time or another we will all have been used in this way, I know for a fact I have, but I would honestly hope that many of us would not take it to the point where we have to stalk the pages of Social Media and Blogs like this to find more ways to tell lurid tales as a means of hurting the real victims in all of this, but alas I have found this not to be the case. Some people are just downright crazies when they cannot control a situation through bullying, lies and threats and what makes it worse for these flying monkeys is that they will always have to be defending themselves against those of us out there seeking the real truth.
But consider this…….
Unless you are absolutely sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that the person telling you stories is telling the truth, with evidence such as, police reports or other forms proof, don’t just take their word for it and never just take any one persons side.
Think critically and for yourself, don’t be swayed by a sob story from a person who is not prepared to give you all the facts. Do the stories you are hearing match up, did you personally know the absent parent and how they behaved, were you a fly on the wall the day they separated and you heard it all for yourself with your very own ears!
For example, if that person tells you that the mother/father of their children has no interest at all in any form of communication or visitation with their children yet you find all of the posts here on this page and associated social media pages from that mother/father that actually shows they are desperate to have contact of any type with their children then stop and think for yourself because clearly something isn’t adding up here!
Consider if the so called alienating parent who claims to be a ‘victim’ in all of this has a story that sounds realistic and doesn’t change. Or, are they just telling you the other person is a ‘bad mother/father’ who is ‘self centered and crazy’ without having any real reason why?
Putting it mildly if you do not know the whole story then you should just back off, not get involved in becoming a flying monkey and mind your own business, especially when you have never seen any cold hard evidence to the back up the alienating parents story.
Too many real victims of parental alienation are being further abused by these flying monkeys, some of whom are nothing more than nasty narcissists themselves, but some of whom are just normal people who have been fooled into believing the fairy-tales they are being fed .
So stop and think and ask yourself this question, do you really want to be the person who picks the wrong story and further traumatises the real victims of parental alienation, do you want to be seen as a person who was once a friend but who then took sides because hey, that is what all the other people did, or do you have the capacity and the narcissistic tendencies to want to be a flying monkey, if you do then you’ve chosen the wrong path and the only yellow brick road you’ll find yourself on is that leading to the cowards castle.