Monthly Archives: December 2014

New Voices: Parental alienation – time to notice, time to intervene

 

messy divorceThe Psychologist – Sue Whitcombe Writes
Sue Whitcombe looks at broken child–parent relationships and the damage they can cause, in the latest in our series for budding writers

At this precise moment I’m in some manic, hyperactive mode that is suppressing my exhaustion as I beaver away at my urgent ‘to do’ list ahead of my Friday flight to Spain.

Twelve days. Twelve whole days in which I am banned from using my computer, accessing e-mails and reading anything remotely related to my research – express orders from my 15-year old daughter. I had promised her that things would be different once the ‘conference season’ was over. I hadn’t quite anticipated the knock-on effects of disseminating my research. Continue reading New Voices: Parental alienation – time to notice, time to intervene

The Parenting Plan

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It is hard enough bringing children up together just as a part of a family unit, so when you have the added emotional upset of separation or divorce the family situation can get very messy, very quickly.

 

I found this article and site to be of particular interest. It is if you like, a toolkit for parents considering the steps of separation and divorce and if more parents were to consider using a ‘Parenting Plan’ then perhaps Parental Alienation would not be as prevalent in societies around the world as it is today. Continue reading The Parenting Plan

Love Yourself, You are Worth It

 

Athis grandmanyone who was ever estranged from a family member will know that we spend vast amounts of time and energy thinking about what we did or said that was wrong, that made them turn from us or us from them.

 

But, just as we cannot control how others behave we can of course control or manage how WE behave, as soon as we have accepted that simple fact and realise that none of us are perfect we can move forward and it is then that we begin to realise that it is probably not us who are the problem, but it is the other person involved who is. Continue reading Love Yourself, You are Worth It

The Symptoms and Side Effects of PAS

d626b6567443dc3b8e699a34ab7c91b6It is the systematic denigration of the non-resident parent by the resident parent with the intent of alienating children against the non-resident parent. The pattern of PAS behaviour is common to some degree or other in all custody disputes.

Children who have been alienated will claim that it is their own decision to reject the non-resident parent. Once this happens, it could be several years before the non-resident parent will see their children again.

                                                                                                                                 Dr Richard Gardner MD Continue reading The Symptoms and Side Effects of PAS

Mental Child Abuse an example

its a choice

 

[Warning: graphic language in below video] Here is a very sad audio clip of an angry father going on a yelling tirade against his kids.

This was one of the few times a child is able to document their own Dad’s abuse. To anyone that says emotional or mental abuse isn’t as damaging as physical child abuse, I would simply ask them to listen to this:

 

Teaching a Child to Despise His or Her Own Parent – PAS Links

 

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”There is no question that parental alienation is a form of child abuse. It is a horror show. The damage to children is enormous.

When a child loses a parent, they are killing off a part of themselves because there is an identity between the child and both parents.

The result is that they become self-injurious. I see all the warning signs and all the flags of the self-hatred: nightmares, anxiety, oppositional behaviors in school, presence of gastrointestinal syndromes, failing school grades, more susceptibility to peers with oppositional behaviors, juvenile delinquency, substance abuse, and depression” – Dr. Raymond Havlicek Continue reading Teaching a Child to Despise His or Her Own Parent – PAS Links

Surviving Yet Another Christmas

My beautiful grandchildrenThe past two Christmas’s have been a really difficult time for us as grandparents since being alienated from our grandsons Josh and Archie McKay from Perth in Scotland.

We don’t live all that far away from them but visiting them because of previous threats of violence and actual violence against me, along with being previously charged and arrested with allegations of stalking and putting Jay McKay and his current girlfriend Allana Bruce in fear for their lives, (a charge I’m glad to say I was found Not Guilty of by a judge at Perth Sheriff Court during a two day trial) have made that an almost impossible task. Continue reading Surviving Yet Another Christmas